Bra's Demystified -or - Female Humiliation 101

The bra knack takes many years of practice - and also you have to have the sort of personality which can get away with doing it... repeatedly...

 
But I can explain the stages to you...

 
Stage 1 -  Annoyance

A simple Undoing of one or more of the clasps of the bra, usually completed one handed and can be done so quickly they dont know its happened.  This is where most people stop

... I'm not most people...

 
Stage 2 - Embarrasment

As the victim dashes her hands round to the back of her top, leaving the front exposed to attack.  You then very carefully leap in and hook your index finger underneath the central part of the bra and pull towards you (not up).  Towards you because it is not your intent to simply get someones tits out for a gander - you arent a perv!! If you succeed You will be rewarded with a very satisfying 'flop' sensation, and you know that your attack has worked.  The victim will now try to cover the front of her top. This leaves you with an open field.  the next stages are optional. (she may try to hit you at this point - but not until her hands are free)

 
OPTIONS

Stage 3 - Humiliation.

Whilst the victim is trying to sort it all out - more than likely they will be holding the front of their top - trying to keep control of their assets until they can discreetly slip it all back into place - before doing the bra back up themselves...  If they havent retired to another room to do this there is ample more scope ...

Option a) "Jelly on a Plate"

I love this one... 

by now your victim is usually terrified about what your next line of attack will be, but this is a great one.  You simply grab the top of your victims shoulders, and then firmly but gently quickly rock them backwards and forwards, singing this song as you go...(which my mum taught me when I was small - thanks mum)

Jelly on a plate
Jelly on a plate
Wibble wobble
wibble wobble
Jelly on a plate!! 

If you have a wobble board in the vicinity - use it now.

 
Option b) "One for the neighbours"

I use this one quite a lot actually...

When your victim is about to put the final touched to re-doing the bra (make sure the hands are behind the back)  you come in from behind and reach around your victims arms, completely trapping them.  You then grab hold of the bottom of your victims top, push them towards a front door or window (the key is to have a portal to the outside world) and then in one swift, sure movement, you pull the clothes UP... leaving the breasts exposed to the air... terrible you are thinking - but thats not it yet...  as the predator - you are unable to view said breasts - and therfore allegations of perviness are unfounded... what you SHOULD do however, is to force your victim *(who's arms are still trapped) towards the front door / window and press the aforementioned wobbly bits against the glass...

this works particularly well with my front door - as there are two thin panes of glass either side of the centre of the door, which just happen to accomodate breasts without the owner being seen...

 
Option c) Utter removal

This is the trickiest one of the lot - and requires some amount of skill, as well as booze on the part of the victim for it to work properly.

You have to be at the 'flopped' stage as previously mentioned.

Basically, as your victim puts her arms behind her back to do it back up again, you have to move like lightning.  Grab both straps at the top of the shoulders and very quickly move them both down BEHIND her back (wshe wont know what is happening until it is too late)  The key thing to remember is that you have to get at least one strap off the arm PAST the elbow - this will not work if you dont manage that.  Your victim will be scrabbling for bra ends and clasps in the vain hope that this will deter your attack. hahahahah.  Once you have got one off the elbow - you need to work it off the arm completely - there will be fighting, but if you prevail, you can lull your victim into a false sense of security by stopping there... for a moment.  Once her guard is down, she will more than likely attempt to re-do the bra BEFORE slipping the strap back on - BIG mistake - thats where you leap in -  Grab the other strap and go through the procedure again - in fact it doesnt matter if the bra is done up - because you are so ninja that she will still be concentrating on the front/straps whilst you undo it again.  Go through the 'flopped' stage again if necessary as the breasts must not be 'housed' when you attempt to remove the garment.  All thats left is for you to grab the one side (which should be flapping free showing from the arm of her top) and pull SIDEWAYS and TOWARDS you.  Its important to pull in both directions at once in case of 'cupping' which can cause injury (which is not the intent)

 
Of course you can do all 3 of the options - but that is for veterans and/or someone you know REALLLLLLLLLLLY well and can guarantee they wont sue you for sexual harassment or try to kill you. or get their neanderthal boyfs to kill you either...

And thats about it really... the hardest thing to learn - is that womens bra's do not all have the same clasp arrangement.  the trickiest ones are the 3x2 clasps (2 columns of 3 clasps) and that is only because you cant use your fingertips to undo all of the clasps at the same time - you have to use your palm of the hand in a sort of weird one hand clapping movement..